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2016 To Watch

It’s officially 2016, we’ve sufficiently celebrated and then retreated to the comfort of our couches.  Let’s get to what’s important here: what we can watch in 2016!  Here’s the TV I cannot wait for in the immediate future:

January 10th, Shameless (Showtime) | Originally, this was set for January 17th (which I remember because it’s my birthday!) but I can’t complain that we’re getting season 6 a week early!

January 15th, Hell’s Kitchen (Fox) | This is always a favorite of mine, as big of a Gordon Ramsay fan as I am.  I’ll likely be keeping up with this one on Hulu, though it’s made appearances on the blog before.

January 24th, The X-Files (Fox) | There are literally no words for how I feel about this show’s return.  I should honestly be setting my DVR now, but this show will have a Monday night time slot which means I should be home to watch each week.

x-files-header

No words.  [Via]

February 2nd, American Crime Story (FX) | As obsessed as I am with AHS, I always figured I would watch this show.  I’ve seen a preview here and there for the The People v. OJ Simpson and I literally cannot wait.  I was super young when this happened, but I still remember it on the news.  Should be interesting!

February 14th, The Walking Dead (AMC) | Happy Valentine’s Day to me!  I love The Walking Dead and I’ve missed it so.  February seems like a while to wait for this mid-season return, but things could be worse.

February 21, Girls (HBO) | My Sunday night ritual!  Doesn’t Girls usually return in January?  The wait for this one has definitely been long, but I’ll be tuning in and definitely recapping for the blog!

What’s missing?  Oh, just a few shows I can’t live without!  Game of Thrones, obviously, which is set for April 2016.  Also, Orphan Black which is set to have season 4 pop up this year too.  Finally, probably my favorite show of 2015, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, should be coming back to Netflix for season two this year!

What shows are you looking forward to?!

Scream Queens: Chanel-o-ween

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Hello friends!  Today we are switching Scream Queens + Face Off… mostly because the new episode of Face Off isn’t on xfinity to go yet and I don’t want to get out of my bed to watch on demand.

This week we got part one of two Halloween episodes, and I’m still completely in love with this show.  I didn’t get to live-tweet this week because I was super sick Tuesday.  Let’s make up for that now, with my thoughts on the episode:

  • I am completely in love with the vlog-style Chanel-o-ween montage.  I love the integration of social media in this show’s storyline; it’s so relevant in today’s world.
  • Grace actually makes such a lovely Kate Hudson in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days.  Likewise, Pete does a great Matthew McConaughey.  I love these costumes.
  • I don’t think the three Kappas could have gotten charged with negligent homicide for letting their sister bleed out… I mean, maybe, but it seems a bit far-fetched.  I don’t know; I’m not in an episode of SVU here.  Regardless, Munch made CRAZY moves in this cover-up.  Suspicious.
  • Grace’s dad is SO SKETCHY.  She mentions the baby in the bathtub and he literally doesn’t bat an eye.  Come on, that’s not a normal reaction.
  • Niecy Nash continues to be awesome.  I loved the whole library gag.
  • Lea Michele continues to be awesome.  I’m glad she’s out of her neck brace, but I’d almost rather call her Neck Brace than Hester.  Anyway, it’s clear that someone (Nick Jonas?) in meddling with both her and Chad to get them to discover all those dead bodies…
  • And there they are!  Mrs. Bean is definitely dead.  Hey, Ariana Grande.  Missed you.
  • The whole lunch scene is the best part of this episode– from the reasons why the Chanels joined Kappa to the absolutely perfect feminist throw-down.  I think these girls may be forging some real friendships.
  • Zayday is not dead.  Do I think Chanel may have orchestrated her kidnapping?  Yup.  But I don’t think Chanel is the killer.  Obviously she didn’t know the bodies were moved, etc.  I don’t think any of the Chanels are involved.  I think we need to watch out for the adults…
  • The ending… interesting, although not a complete shock.  No spoilers here for you!

Thoughts?!  Theories?!  I want to hear ’em!

Watch Scream Queens, Idiot Hookers

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I had originally planned on watching writing about Doctor Who, but after watching the premiere of Scream Queens, there’s no way I can’t include this show on the blog. This newcomer is campy but compelling, with plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, fantastic faux furs, and of course, plentiful deaths.

Setting the Scene:

We start out with a flashback to 1995, which makes me think, am I really this old? A sorority girl has given birth in a bathtub in true I-didn’t-know-I-was-pregnant form. Her Kappa Kappa Tau sisters are outraged that she would ruin their party like this, and simply must go jam to Waterfalls (yes!). They leave her to bleed out in the bathtub. (Death toll: 1) What becomes of the baby is a mystery for now.

In 2015, we meet Chanel (Emma Robert), the current president of KKT. We also meet her minions, Chanel #2, Chanel #3, and Chanel #5. There was a Chanel #4 but she went home ’cause she had meningitis and then she died. (Death toll: 2).

We also meet Grace, who is weirdly close with her father and again makes me feel ANCIENT when we find out Twilight was her first PG-13 movie. Her mother was a Kappa and died when she was a baby. (Death toll: 3. Possibly? I immediately think Grace could be the baby from the bathtub.)

Dark Comedy:

We eventually learn that the dean (Jamie Lee Curtis) covered up the bathtub death, that the previous president of KKT met with a cruel fate in the form of a hydrochloric acid spray tan (death toll: 4), and that Chanel orders her pumpkin spice lattes half-caf, no foam, extra hot, skinny, no foam.

The copious deaths get funny, when Chanel accidentally kills the housemaid by burning her face off. (death toll: 5) and of course, Chanel #2’s (Ariana Grande) dance with the devil– she invites him in, answers his “I’m going to kill you now” text with “Wait whaaaat???!” and sends a tweet for help while getting killed. Hilarious!

I’m slightly bothered by the fact that we never learn people’s real names, but I’ll get over it. This trend continues with the pledges, including Neckbrace (a hilariously creepy character played by Lea Michele) and Deaf Taylor Swift, RIP (death toll: 6).

Niecy Nash’s character is also hilarious. I laughed out loud at, “Shaundell, why you got a knife in your throat?” (death toll: 7)

Suspicions:

So far I think Grace’s dad is the killer. There is something so not right about him.

The death of Boone (Nick Jonas) was predictable (death toll: 8, but wait!), but the ending twist was not!  Since we’ve already read that Ariana Grande will make a return, I’m guessing some of these other deaths are also unconfirmed.

Favorite Moments:

  • The aforementioned, “Shaundell, why you got a knife in your throat?”
  • “You don’t die from getting your face burnt off!” / “Yes you do!”
  • “Wait, Mom” (I can’t wait for more of Lea Michele’s character!)
  • “No one forced that goat to get as drunk as he did.”
  • Jennifer, the candle vlogger (!!)
  • Everything Emma Roberts wears, especially the faux furs!
gimme.

gimme.

Go follow me on twitter where I’ll be live-tweeting next week’s episode!  And join me here, idiot hookers, for more discussion afterward.

Have you watched Scream Queens yet?  Do you love it as much as I do?!  Let’s hear it!

HK14: Blind Taste Test

Not a season goes by without a …Compete Again episode like this one, “8 Chefs Compete Again.”  This episode features another seasonal tradition: the 14th annual blind taste test challenge!  They’ve brought back a recent twist, the teammate dunk tank– 2 correct guesses out of 4 keeps the teammate dry.  The chefs seem to do better this season than seasons past, but the ingredients also seemed pretty easy.  Here’s how it goes down:

Michelle and Meghan sit atop the dunk tank as T and Milly taste to keep their respective teammates dry.

  • Chicken | T guesses turkey, but Milly gets it!
  • Apple | T guesses pear, but Milly gets it right, assuring Meghan will stay dry.
  • Carrot | Both T and Milly correctly identify carrot.
  • Cauliflower | Both T and Milly correctly identify it, meaning Michelle is dry too.

Alison and Randy take their places at the dunk tank while Josh and Nick put their palettes to the test.

  • Lobster | Josh correctly identifies lobster, but Nick guesses crab.
  • Celery | Josh get another right, while Nick guesses turnip.
  • Spinach | Josh guesses parsley, and Nick guesses lettuce sending Randy for a dunk!
  • American Cheese | Both Josh and Nick correctly identify American cheese.

T and Milly mount the dunk tank as it’s Michelle and Meghan‘s turn to prove their palettes.

  • Strawberries | Michelle guesses peach and Meghan guesses pineapple.
  • Macadamia Nuts | Michelle guesses peanuts, but Meghan gets it right.
  • Potato | Michelle finally gets one, and Meghan gets another.
  • Egg White | Michelle and Meghan both correctly identify egg white keeping T and Milly dry.

The last pair switch: it’s Josh and Nick at the tank and Alison and Randy competing.

  • Tomato | Alison and Randy both correctly identify tomato.
  • Oatmeal | Alison gets it right, but Randy says rice.
  • Butternut Squash | Alison guesses yams and Randy says potato.
  • Onion | Alison guesses scallion, which is honestly so close!  Randy says leek, which is less close… and sends his teammate into cold water.

The score is 9:9 and there’s a sudden death tie-breaker with the best from each team: Josh and Milly.  Alison and Meghan take the tank for a little torture.  Josh and Milly both get the first item (zucchini) wrong, so it all comes down to avocado.  Josh correctly identifies it, but Milly sends Meghan for a final dunk sealing the victory for Red!  They win a caviar tasting and a shopping spree!  Blue’s punishment includes setting up the dining room and making sangria for the charity dinner that evening.

Charities Step Up Women’s Network and Fran Drescher’s Cancer Schmancer both had 12-tops for a 5-course dinner.  A chef on each team is responsible for each course and the teams are to work together on dessert.

Michelle and Alison serve up Red's risotto.

Michelle and Alison serve up Red’s risotto.

First course is lobster risotto. Alison is responsible for this appetizer on Red, while Randy is on Blue.  Red does better with this one, especially when it comes to plating.  Instead of 12, Blue plates 16… then 9.  Needless to say, Red gets this course out first.

Josh is responsible for the second course, Tuna Niçoise, for Red and Milly is for Blue.  Under Josh’s direction, all of the tuna gets overcooked.  All of the tuna.  Red has to borrow some from Blue.  Obviously, Blue serves this course before Red.

The third course is pan-seared salmon.  T and Nick are in charge for their teams.  Josh tries to micromanage T on Red, but she ignores appropriately.  Nick is a perfectionist on Blue to the point of delay; Red gets their course out first.

New York Strip Steak, the fourth course, is handled by Michelle on Red and Meghan on Blue.  Josh tries to micromanage again, and again is appropriately ignored.  Randy makes a fuss about the plate problem from his course, but Blue pushes their plates out.  Josh makes plating messy for Red and they follow.

Dessert goes out, but there is a lot of fighting on either side from angry Randy and between T and Michelle.

Ramsay declares that Blue is the winner, by a slight margin.  Red gets together to make nominations.  At this point in time, I am DONE with Josh and his lack of interpersonal skills.  His course was the worst and he got the nomination for elimination he deserved.  Michelle also gets nominated for not listening.  Chef Ramsay says he is sending home the person who did not have control of their course and, more importantly, never bounced back… Randy!

It came as a surprise in the moment, but not looking at the history of this competition.  I do want to see Josh take a hike, though!  Thoughts?

Looking Forward: 2015 TV

This is the most important list I could write.  Now that we’ve talked about favorite shows of 2014, let’s look forward to my most anticipated shows of 2015.  Mark your calendars for these very important premiere dates!

I thought Gillian would be nice eye candy to accompany this list.

I thought Gillian would be nice eye candy to accompany this list.

MasterChef Junior | We don’t have to go too long without this delight!  A new season returns Tuesday, January 6th at 8 PM on Fox.  You’ll probably see my recaps pop up on Fridays again.

Shameless | After quite the surprise in the end of last season, I can’t wait for new episodes!  Shameless returns to Showtime Sunday, January 11th at 9 PM.  I’ll be watching on Showtime Anytime since this conflicts with another show…

Girls | I feel like it’s been such a long time since the season finale.  Is Hannah going to Iowa?  I guess we’ll find out on Sunday, January 11th at 9 PM.  My recaps should be ready for you Mondays, as usual.

The Fall | Oh goodness, how I’ve missed this delicious Gillian Anderson detective thriller.  I’ve been waiting forever for new episodes, and the second series finally hits Netflix on Friday, January 16th.

Best New Restaurant | Tom Colicchio hosts this Gordon Ramsay production, Bravo’s new Best New Restaurant.  With the two of them involved, it’s a sure thing I’ll be watching.  The premiere is Wednesday, January 21st at 10 PM, I guess taking the place of Top Chef.  I’m hungry just thinking about it.

The Walking Dead | I’m going to be very busy on Sundays.  The Walking Dead returns from it’s midseason hiatus on Sunday, February 8th at 9 PM on AMC.

Better Call Saul | I finally finished Breaking Bad, checking it off from my TV to-do list.  Saul has got to be my favorite character, and I’m looking forward to more Bob Odenkirk in the AMC show!  It’s set to premiere Monday, February 9th at 10 PM.

Broadchurch | I’d been watching Gracepoint, but when Broadchurch finally hit Netflix it was clear that this is the superior show.  While series 2 premieres in January in the UK, we’ll have to wait a bit longer on BBC America.  Broadchurch series 2 premieres Wednesday, March 4th at 10 PM.

Orphan Black | It’s straight-up torture to make us wait this long!  My favorite show of the year finally returns to BBC America on Saturday, April 18th.  Clone Club Catch-Up will be back, friends!

 

So now you know what I’m most looking forward to in the new year and how you can watch too!  What shows are you most looking forward to?

Hell’s Kitchen Recap: 8 Chefs Compete

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Last week, Melanie was new to the Blue Team and had a big opportunity to prove herself.  Miraculously, Gabriel is still on the show?  Weird.  On to the recap!

Challenge: Chef Ramsay presented 4 dishes that are presented as one dish, but when tasted, are completely another.  The point: a chef must count on his or her palate.  AND WITH THAT IT’S TIME FOR MY FAVORITE CHALLENGE!

The Blind Taste Test

If you are unfamiliar with the blind taste test, it is exactly what it sounds like.  Ramsay blindfolds contestants and places headphones on them as well so the only sense they have at their disposal is taste.  They are fed and must guess what they are tasting.  And it’s the freaking best challenge of the season.

  • Joy gets pear, so does Rochelle
  • Joy misses arugula, so does Rochelle
  • Joy gets carrott, so does Rochelle
  • Joy misses fillet mignon, Rochelle gets the point for Blue with “beef”
  • Anton and Gabriel miss anchovies, mango, and peas, but they both get mozzarella
  • Scott gets hot dog; Jason does not
  • Scott gets radish; Jason does not
  • Both miss macadamia guessing another nut
  • Both also miss green beans
  • Melanie misses parsnip, so does Kashia
  • Both miss bell pepper as well
  • Melanie misses chicken, but so does Kashia keeping Blue in the game
  • Melanie misses cheddar, and Kashia gets it sealing Red’s victory by 2

Red wins an ice skating reward including a lesson with an Olympic figure skater Rachel Flatt, while Blue breaks ice blocks then makes ice cream by hand as punishment.

Note: Kashia couldn’t kayak and Kashia couldn’t ice skate because she was scared.  Rewards are wasted on the unwilling.

Dinner Service

Melanie doesn’t have a lot to work with on the Blue Team, but appetizers start out well in both kitchens.  Red comes up one scallop short on their final app order, because apparently math still isn’t a part of cooking.  Entrées prove tricky, especially for Red.  Kashia braises salmon for some reason, and chicken comes out severely undercooked.  Rochelle’s Wellingtons impress Chef Ramsay on the blue side, but Anton on Red overcooks theirs.  Sous Chef Andi comes to teach, but Anton disrespects her an infuriating amount.  “Shut up, and say, Yes Chef!” she yells, and earns Anton a walk to the freezer with Chef Ramsay.  You’ve got to get it together! he yells.  Meanwhile, he pays a serious compliment to Blue for their extremely high standard of service.

It’s no secret who won.  I guess Melanie did make a difference on Blue!  Red elects Anton and Scott for elimination.  Ultimately, Anton is eliminated.

I tell you, I will NOT miss his voice.  Tonight, we’re in for the toughest service for the Red team, with only three team members.  Black jackets may be coming out tonight!  We’ll see thought, we’ll see…

Hell’s Kitchen Recap: 11 Chefs Compete

Last week’s Hell’s Kitchen picks up in the previous week’s cliffhanger challange: Jessica v. Richard’s elimination challenge.

After evaluating both sets of dishes, Chef Ramsay announces the Jessica is to be eliminated.  She overcooked two of her proteins!  I previously thought Jessica was strong, but it just goes to show you that standing on your own, away from the team, is a whole different story.  Jessica’s also gotten super emotional in these last few episodes, and as Chef Ramsay pays her some pretty nice compliments she whines over and over again for him to please let her back in line.  Girl, he already eliminated you; just go!

The remaining 11 chefs head to a surprise location the next day.  They are expecting a challenge, but instead find themselves in Chef Ramsay’s gastropub, the restaurant of the future winner.  They soak up the atmosphere and Chef Ramsay announces that the night’s dinner service will be gastropub inspired.  Yum!

"I'll see you back at HK," says Rams.  See, abbrevs are cool.

“I’ll see you back at HK,” says Rams. See, abbrevs are cool.

So let’s talk about Ralph.  Gabriel, his roommate, snores something awful and keeps him from getting sleep.  I definitely sympathize here, but can’t he like, go in the living room or something?  Ralph is representing my city, Boston, and so far he is really doing us a disservice.  Padma, Hugh, and crew are here RIGHT NOW working with cheftestants for a new season of Top Chef.  Ralph is putting this culinary city to shame!  We’re seen him do absolutely nothing impressive.  We’ve seen him complain a lot.  So he’s sick.  I’ve been sick.  I get it.  He cooks anyway.  He doesn’t do well.  Neither does the rest of the Blue Team.

The Red Team, after a couple bumps (and Melanie taking a tumble), finds a perfect rhythm.  They get their food out to their happy diners and work in perfect harmony.  Blue is a mess, and while Sandra serves up desserts, Chef Ramsay sends the remaining 4 Red Team chefs into the Blue kitchen to help the 6 struggling men.  Remember last time this happened, the Blue Team just yelled a lot?  That’s what happened again.  Chef Ramsay asks,

“Where’s your dignity, Blue Team?”

They never do locate said dignity.  There’s no need to wait until service is over.  Chef Ramsay sends the Blue Team away to nominate 2 team members for elimination.  The Blue Team decides on Gabriel and Scott.  Rams happens to ask Gabriel for nominees, and he says Scott and Ralph, omitting himself and throwing Ralph under the bus.  Rams says why not? and brings all three forward.  He decides to eliminate Ralph after all; he’s not ready to be head chef anywhere.

Sorry, Ralph, but you were just not the representative I want for my city.  I think the Red Team’s got our winner this season.