Ariana Grande

Scream Queens: Beware of Young Girls

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How cruel of Scream Queens to delay this episode a whole week!  But it was a good one.  Here are my assorted thoughts and favorite quotes:

  • We knew we’d see Ariana Grande again.  I thought maybe that coffin shot was it, but yay for another Chanel no. 2 appearance!  I also thought every detail of this funeral was perfection.
  • Also, no. 3’s necklace is clearly from Bauble Bar.  I even blogged about it here.  The plentiful pearl baubles in this show have long given me the Bauble Bar-vibe, so I think this confirms it!
  • Love a good Ouija board.  Love the joke about the movie Ouija which I will never see.
  • Gigi was on the phone with said red devil who she knows and loves.  I think this could be the baby!
  • What is the deal with Grace and Gigi going shopping together?  Why is every relationship Grace’s father has so freaking weird?
  • HOW GREAT IS THE MUSIC IN THIS SHOW.
  • Oh goodness, the “just a head” pun.  I love it.
  • “Why do you have 9 tampons in your purse?”
  • The VIGOR with which Billie Lourd says “KIX” cracks me up.
  • “How do you even crush a diamond?  It’s like the hardest substance on earth!”
  • I want Chanel’s bed.
  • “There’s no dinosaurs?”
  • Chanel’s grasp on rat poison is much better than mine.
  • This was Jamie Lee Curtis’s episode, man.  That whole last scene!

Can I just be really honest with you guys for a second?  Why does KKT allow Grace to wear such hideous clothes?  Like, I was never in a sorority, nor do I believe this to be a factual representation of one, but there seems to be quite a bit of conformity amongst the Chanels and the KKT sisters of the past.  If anything, Grace needs a fashion influence.  Her clothes actually offend me.  I love the color palette of KKT, even though I live a life of neutrals, this pastel paradise is the real me.  It reminds me of Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette.

I think I’ve decided that Grace isn’t the protagonist of this show.  I hate her.  Do you?

Let’s hear your thoughts & theories, hookers!

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Watch Scream Queens, Idiot Hookers

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I had originally planned on watching writing about Doctor Who, but after watching the premiere of Scream Queens, there’s no way I can’t include this show on the blog. This newcomer is campy but compelling, with plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, fantastic faux furs, and of course, plentiful deaths.

Setting the Scene:

We start out with a flashback to 1995, which makes me think, am I really this old? A sorority girl has given birth in a bathtub in true I-didn’t-know-I-was-pregnant form. Her Kappa Kappa Tau sisters are outraged that she would ruin their party like this, and simply must go jam to Waterfalls (yes!). They leave her to bleed out in the bathtub. (Death toll: 1) What becomes of the baby is a mystery for now.

In 2015, we meet Chanel (Emma Robert), the current president of KKT. We also meet her minions, Chanel #2, Chanel #3, and Chanel #5. There was a Chanel #4 but she went home ’cause she had meningitis and then she died. (Death toll: 2).

We also meet Grace, who is weirdly close with her father and again makes me feel ANCIENT when we find out Twilight was her first PG-13 movie. Her mother was a Kappa and died when she was a baby. (Death toll: 3. Possibly? I immediately think Grace could be the baby from the bathtub.)

Dark Comedy:

We eventually learn that the dean (Jamie Lee Curtis) covered up the bathtub death, that the previous president of KKT met with a cruel fate in the form of a hydrochloric acid spray tan (death toll: 4), and that Chanel orders her pumpkin spice lattes half-caf, no foam, extra hot, skinny, no foam.

The copious deaths get funny, when Chanel accidentally kills the housemaid by burning her face off. (death toll: 5) and of course, Chanel #2’s (Ariana Grande) dance with the devil– she invites him in, answers his “I’m going to kill you now” text with “Wait whaaaat???!” and sends a tweet for help while getting killed. Hilarious!

I’m slightly bothered by the fact that we never learn people’s real names, but I’ll get over it. This trend continues with the pledges, including Neckbrace (a hilariously creepy character played by Lea Michele) and Deaf Taylor Swift, RIP (death toll: 6).

Niecy Nash’s character is also hilarious. I laughed out loud at, “Shaundell, why you got a knife in your throat?” (death toll: 7)

Suspicions:

So far I think Grace’s dad is the killer. There is something so not right about him.

The death of Boone (Nick Jonas) was predictable (death toll: 8, but wait!), but the ending twist was not!  Since we’ve already read that Ariana Grande will make a return, I’m guessing some of these other deaths are also unconfirmed.

Favorite Moments:

  • The aforementioned, “Shaundell, why you got a knife in your throat?”
  • “You don’t die from getting your face burnt off!” / “Yes you do!”
  • “Wait, Mom” (I can’t wait for more of Lea Michele’s character!)
  • “No one forced that goat to get as drunk as he did.”
  • Jennifer, the candle vlogger (!!)
  • Everything Emma Roberts wears, especially the faux furs!
gimme.

gimme.

Go follow me on twitter where I’ll be live-tweeting next week’s episode!  And join me here, idiot hookers, for more discussion afterward.

Have you watched Scream Queens yet?  Do you love it as much as I do?!  Let’s hear it!