ANTM Recap: Beardweave.

At the end of last week’s episode, Marjana decided she hates Matthew. She’s now moved on to Denzel and is flirting with him with the fire of a thousand suns. Also, she has a boyfriend back home. This 18-year-old is out of control. Poor cute Matthew!

Romeo does some more spells—he draws a pentagram and lights some candles. Wiccans everywhere are likely not so happy with this portrayal of their religion as “satanic” and asking for voodoo doll supplies. Womp womp.

There’s a cool photo sheet with the theme of optical illusions. Everyone is photographed lying on their sides, but when the picture is titled it looks like they’re upright.

Makeovers are announced after that. There are a bunch of boxes hidden throughout the house revealing the makeovers, but not the person who’s getting them. One box contains a pair of scissors, and whoever finds them gets to find out which makeover is theirs. It ends up being Denzel, and a monitor flashes his name and “beard weave.” Is that a thing?

The rest of the makeovers are soon revealed. Ben and Adam get buzz cuts and to me, this makes Adam the most improved. Marjana gets a bob that looks like Rachel Duncan from Orphan Black.  Shei’s is the most interesting: half black and half white. Kari goes platinum blonde and cries a lot.

Matthew, as a straight man, keeps mentioning how objectively good looking Will is. He is just more and more attractive to me by the second, that he can recognize beauty and separate it from sexual attraction. Why aren’t more men like this?!

Everyone gets super drunk that night. Matthew kisses Will, I guess? Oops! He doesn’t care if people think he’s gay because of this, because, he says, he is what he is. Everyone kind of attacks him and calls his sexuality into question.   Matthew remains secure, feels no shame or regret, and I love him more and more and more. Also, I’m pretty sure Denzel and Marjana hook up in the shower… why are we focusing on this drunken kiss and not on her cheating on her boyfriend?

There is judging. It means nothing to me, as usual. My favorite picture of the bunch is Matthew, because at this point I think I’m obsessed with him?

It's not brilliant or anything, but I think it worked better than I was expecting it to.

It’s not brilliant or anything, but I think it worked better than I was expecting it to. 

Social media scores play a big role since there is not challenge. Models are called out in this order:

  • Ben
  • Lenox
  • Will
  • Raelia
  • Keith
  • Matthew
  • Marjana
  • Romeo
  • Denzel
  • Shei
  • Adam
  • Kari
  • Chantelle goes home. I’m sad because she’s such a beautiful girl! Maybe she’ll be back, though.

Who was your favorite makeover? And photo?

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