Oh gosh, Hannah’s selfishness knows no bounds. We open at David’s funeral, where Hannah and Adam are surprised to meet his widow. Hannah says a ton of insensitive things, and the widow lets it slip that all David’s book deals have been dropped meaning Hannah’s e-book is dead. Of course, at this woman’s husband’s funeral, Hannah fixates on that and asks her for the name of another publisher. She replies: “If I give you a name, will you get the fuck out?”
Back at home, Adam and Caroline are at each other’s throats, and Hannah is playing mediator. Marnie calls to tell her about the “cutest thing that ever lived:” a kitten she just took home. Hannah can’t talk, though and certainly can’t come over. It’s increasingly clear how big the wedge between these two has become. “You’re my best friend,” says Marnie to the kitten.
The episode is light on Jessa and Shoshanna. Shosh needs to study and is frustrated by Jess’s constant presence. She needs to get into a good business school as part of her 15 year plan. Jessa asks, what happens after the 15 years? That would be completely insane to think about, replies Shoshanna. Later, Jessa is determined to get a job in a children’s boutique.
Marnie seeks out Ray to ask what’s wrong with her. In a nutshell, Ray says, she’s a big fucking phony. Visibly upset, Ray consoles her by letting her know she’s still a sympathetic character; he knows she means well. They hug, then in a predictable and assumably regrettable moment, kiss. They proceed to have sex on Ray’s kitchen table. Afterward is awkward, obviously.
Hannah meets with a new publisher, who love her manuscript and want to turn it into a real book. I can’t believe such a good thing is happening to Hannah– this is big, right? Hannah calls her dad to tell him the good news. On the other line, Hannah’s dad is taking some time off from work after a medical procedure. Hannah ignores this when he tries to tell her about it and jumps into her book news. When her dad doesn’t react the way she’s expecting, Hannah ask: “Why aren’t you more excited?” Turns out, her previous publisher owns the rights to her stories for 3 years. Her dad breaks this news to her, having had cousin Ronnie look over the contract, and Hannah reacts with animosity toward him. The anger continues at home reflected toward Caroline, who thinks Hannah is projecting. Fed up, Hannah tells Caroline to get the fuck out of her apartment.
Adam comes home to find Hannah on the couch and Caroline gone. “I kicked her out,” says Hannah. When she can’t tell Adam where she went, Adam panics. “That’s my sister… I’m supposed to be taking care of her!” Adam leaves to find Caroline, and Hannah continues to wallow.
Everything is just so hard for Hannah. Adam has got to be getting sick of this. How much longer do you think he’ll stick around?
Are you guys liking this season as much as I am?